July 4th, interrupted

This weekend was almost deja vu all over again. 

I had a long 4-day holiday weekend to look forward to and it started well enough.  On Saturday morning I walked the boy to martial arts, made a quick shoe shopping trip for him and Dad ahead of our vacation, and made plans for a trip to the Arlington reservoir after lunch.  Driving home before lunch I started to get some abdominal cramping.  It happened a couple of times on the twenty minute drive and I figured it was just indigestion.

I ate some lunch - more of the take-out I had the night before, which no one else had eaten - and started getting things together for the res.  The cramps kept coming and were now annoying.  My daughter had some friends over and they needed a ride somewhere, so we made a time.  When that time came I was still able to drive but was nervous.  It was a short drive; I had one hand on the wheel and another across my stomach the whole time. We had a plan for me to pick them up in a few hours.

I got home and told my son I didn't think we could go to the res after all, mommy was feeling sick.  In another half hour the cramps were painful and I was scared.  I texted my daughter that it might be her stepdad coming to pick her up and tried to distract Connor with other things to do.  And then I was violently ill and lost (at least) my lunch.  That provided a little relief.

So, what, food poisoning?  Maybe.  The next couple of hours were a little bit better and then it started again.  I started to worry about bowel obstruction given my recent surgeries.  I had my surgeon paged who said at this point it was hard to tell - symptoms could be attributed to food poisoning or an obstruction, but it's hot out and dehydration (in either case) is a concern.  She said try to stick it out another couple of hours but if nothing improves just go to the emergency room.  She was actually on call that weekend and would be around.  If I went in they would likely admit me so I could get fluids, and they'd probably do a scan, and if it was an obstruction they would do "bowel rest" to see if it cleared on its own (which apparently happens in many cases).  I really, really, really did not want to go back to the hospital, even for fluids and rest.

I was sick again after speaking with her.  I was miserable with anxiety and cursed my bad luck.  I had very painful cramps most of the night and was ill once more before the next morning.  I tried to sip water throughout the day on Sunday and basically didn't move unless I had to.  Connor still wanted a trip to the res - I told him we'd try.  I felt a little better after trying to hydrate all morning so we went in the afternoon, just for a couple hours.  Cramps still came but were less painful, a little less frequent, always in the same spot, right underneath my latest and greatest scar.  I tried some broth for dinner and a couple crackers, couldn't get much down, but what I ate stayed down.  I got a little more sleep but the pain woke me up three times that night.

This was all reminiscent of radiation treatment, when the cramps were so painful I basically stopped eating for two weeks.  Lived off of mashed potatoes for a few days.  But I was not going through radiation treatment so what in the world was happening, and why did it have to happen during my 4-day weekend??

Yesterday morning I was exhausted and weak.  Still did not want to go to the hospital.  I had toast and lots of water for breakfast and that stayed down, and it helped.  I took a short walk.  I had an egg for lunch.  I went back to the res with Connor again (our original plan was to go every day this long weekend - had to catch up).  I had mac & cheese for dinner.  Everything stayed down.  Cramps were much less frequent, still in the same place, and by now were very tolerable versus agonizing.  I sent an email to my surgeon to let her know how I was doing and to see if I should try and make an appointment, or just see how things go from here.

Last night I was able to sleep without any cramps or pain and even had lots of weird and fun dreams.  This morning I am drinking coffee again and haven't had a cramp since sometime early last night.  My belly feels a bit sore but nothing hurts, even if I push all around.  It never felt hard or looked distended and my GI function was otherwise normal the whole time.  It just hurt like the dickens.

Food poisoning, then?  Partial obstruction that cleared by itself?  Who knows.  What I do know is that every tiny twinge in my abdomen will always trigger huge anxiety and fear.  I used to worry about traveling when I had the colostomy bag, should some unforeseen event happen and I wouldn't have enough supplies, things like that.  Now I worry about where the closest major hospital is in case something like this happens and I do in fact need a scan or something more.  I can never not worry.

That, and I will probably never eat boneless honey bbq chicken wings with blue cheese ever again.