This was a long week. I guess the fatigue is finally adding up. I decided to drive to work yesterday; I felt I wasn't up for the walk from South Station to the office, at least I was worried I wouldn't be by the end of the day. I also have little bags under my eyes all the time now, which I've never had. I sleep okay once I get to sleep but sometimes I do wake up in the night and it takes a while to fall back asleep. That also hasn't really happened to me before - I'm a champion sleeper.
Last night though I had a bad dream. I was at an appointment and my husband was there with me. A nurse walks in and starts talking about this and that, and I asked about side affects of something, and she said not to worry about it since I was dying. I told her I wasn't but she insisted I was, and I started crying and couldn't stop, and woke up that way, thinking I was dying. But I am not dying. Well, not right this minute. It'll happen eventually. I'd like another 42 years first. 42 years that don't involve any more cancer.
Next round starts Wednesday - pushed out since Monday is a holiday that Dana-Farber recognizes and neither my oncologist nor his assistant are available on Tuesdays. It means less recovery time before the round after that but none of us want to delay treatment if we don't have to. Only consideration otherwise is my Neulasta injection; apparently it's supposed to be administered only every 12-14 days, but my oncologist says this is really an insurance consideration and most of the time, after the first injection insurance claim is approved, they don't care about the timing. I did get a second explanation of benefits from Blue Cross, same as before saying I'm responsible for $20K for hospital services, but no actual bill from Dana-Farber. So I'm not worrying about it. Onward and upward.
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