As always - onward and upward.
Saturday, May 28, 2016
Progress
Ten months ago today I was having my first emergency surgery. Today I was able to go to a birthday party, clean out a corner of our basement, take a drive to Amherst and back, and take part in various playground antics with my son. Without pain and without cancer. I still have abnormal anatomy. And I'm still tired, but today I really earned it.
Saturday, May 14, 2016
Jimmy Fund FitFest!
Today was awesome and exhausting! I wasn't sure I was going to be able to do anything at all at the FitFest today. Amazing what a little sunshine can do for your motivation. That and the best personal trainer a girl could ask for:
He may have to work on his plank a little, but Connor can definitely jump way higher than I can these days. I can hardly do a single jumping jack. I did do two half push-ups (I got all the way down, but could only get about an inch back up... baby steps). All in all it was really, really fun. If any of you Boston area peeps are gym rats or looking for a cool class to take, I highly recommend checking out the instructors who were at the event today.
I was also honored to speak at the event. They had five survivors tell their stories, and also a woman who lost her mom to cancer at a young age. Very moving and inspirational. After I spoke, a lot of different people came up to me throughout the day to offer congratulations and comment on what an inspiration I am to them. I was even asked to have my photo taken by one of the instructors (cool!). It's strange to think you can inspire people just by virtue of having gotten some awful disease. I understand it's the conquering of the disease, and not the contracting, that is the inspiration, but still - did I really do anything special? I just hung in there. And I got lucky. I think any one of us would do the same if faced with a similar predicament, and I know a lot of us have. What else can you do, but fight as best you can? We are all inspiration, all together.
I did have to rest a bit more than the folks around me but I think I held my own okay considering I could barely get out of bed a week ago. I probably won't be able to move tomorrow. Thankfully the stomach cramps are farther and farther between and less painful every day. I'm trying to eat a wider variety of food again, especially fresh fruits and vegetables (never thought I'd miss them as much as I have), and get my 10,000 steps a day in at least. It's easier now that the weather is warming up. And I made it back to the office this past week too, at least on three days.
My next scan is in a month - the beginning of post-treatment surveillance. I expect I'll have a whole other set of emotions about that. Another post for another day. For now, I need a nap, and then a picnic on this beautiful day.
He may have to work on his plank a little, but Connor can definitely jump way higher than I can these days. I can hardly do a single jumping jack. I did do two half push-ups (I got all the way down, but could only get about an inch back up... baby steps). All in all it was really, really fun. If any of you Boston area peeps are gym rats or looking for a cool class to take, I highly recommend checking out the instructors who were at the event today.
I was also honored to speak at the event. They had five survivors tell their stories, and also a woman who lost her mom to cancer at a young age. Very moving and inspirational. After I spoke, a lot of different people came up to me throughout the day to offer congratulations and comment on what an inspiration I am to them. I was even asked to have my photo taken by one of the instructors (cool!). It's strange to think you can inspire people just by virtue of having gotten some awful disease. I understand it's the conquering of the disease, and not the contracting, that is the inspiration, but still - did I really do anything special? I just hung in there. And I got lucky. I think any one of us would do the same if faced with a similar predicament, and I know a lot of us have. What else can you do, but fight as best you can? We are all inspiration, all together.
I did have to rest a bit more than the folks around me but I think I held my own okay considering I could barely get out of bed a week ago. I probably won't be able to move tomorrow. Thankfully the stomach cramps are farther and farther between and less painful every day. I'm trying to eat a wider variety of food again, especially fresh fruits and vegetables (never thought I'd miss them as much as I have), and get my 10,000 steps a day in at least. It's easier now that the weather is warming up. And I made it back to the office this past week too, at least on three days.
My next scan is in a month - the beginning of post-treatment surveillance. I expect I'll have a whole other set of emotions about that. Another post for another day. For now, I need a nap, and then a picnic on this beautiful day.
Friday, May 6, 2016
I miss food
Things haven't gotten much better. For the last ten days or so I've just sat around watching bad movies, or sleeping, and moaning when the cramps come around. I had already planned to take this past week off for leave, to rest and recover - I had no idea I'd need it as much as I have. Given other associated digestive issues I was advised to stick to a non-dairy low fiber diet until things resolve some more. It's the most boring food in the universe. I'm living off of english muffins, bananas, and mashed potatoes. I have been dreaming about a big cheesy brick of meat lasagna from Jack's in Malden and giant bowls of vanilla ice cream. I couldn't have any of my daughter's birthday cake last week (we saved some in the freezer for when I'm better). I did sneak a donut hole the other day. It was good. I couldn't tell if it made the cramps any worse.
On the bright side, I've found the ultimate fail-proof diet scheme: 5-6 weeks of radiation to your lower abdomen and you won't want to eat anything! I've lost 15 pounds in the last 2 weeks. I have no strength left. It's post-surgery all over again. I'm walking with my cane, all hunched over, can barely make it around the corner before I have to sit down, or end up doubled over waiting for a cramp to pass. My radiation oncologist said it would be a rough couple of weeks once treatments finished but I was not expecting this. And it started before it was even over!
Oh well. This too shall pass.
On the bright side, I've found the ultimate fail-proof diet scheme: 5-6 weeks of radiation to your lower abdomen and you won't want to eat anything! I've lost 15 pounds in the last 2 weeks. I have no strength left. It's post-surgery all over again. I'm walking with my cane, all hunched over, can barely make it around the corner before I have to sit down, or end up doubled over waiting for a cramp to pass. My radiation oncologist said it would be a rough couple of weeks once treatments finished but I was not expecting this. And it started before it was even over!
Oh well. This too shall pass.
Monday, May 2, 2016
28 treatments later....
I'm done. I cried uncle this morning on the radiation team's voicemail. I was prepared to go today anyway but my radiation oncologist just called and said he was okay with dropping the last two. And then I burst into tears, literally.
Apparently they just don't have good enough data about how much is the "right" amount. They could have had me do these last two and the cancer could come back, I can skip them and it could come back, I could have stopped five treatments ago and it won't... there isn't any way to know for sure. Originally I was only supposed to have 28, and I did that, and I'm done, and I still have the cramps, and they still hurt, and I've lost ten pounds, and I'm exhausted.
I'm going back to sleep.
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